Just a head's up

I am going to Peru, so i won't be able to blog.... :(

but i will be back in a week and know that i will be blogging after the fact... i am going to journal like crazy on my way down there and while i am there.

so hopefully it will benefit someone.

who knows.

Day by Day

As the week approaches

And I stare it in the face

I know that God has a plan

For this time, for this place

But as I stare it down

I feel the pressure fall

On my shoulders, oh so heavy

I can't handle it all

So I turn to my Father

And seek out his will

He takes off the load

With just a little left still

Take this day by day

He says to my heart

For if you take it all at once

It's going to fall apart

But trust that I have the future

And know that the present is yours

Don't worry about tomorrow

It is I who will open doors.

Habakkuk's Impact

My soul is weary

my heart broken

but i know that He is in control

I have no words

My feelings jumbled

No one around me to console

For words pierce deep

And emotions flare

But God is there in midst of it all

Dreams are crushed

Ideas destroyed

But in the end everything will fall

But God will not

His has won

And his victory ensures us life

So in this time

when my world seems dark

He is my escape from all the strife.

Extinguished

I looked in the mirror today

And was surprised by what I saw

But about this I should say

This is no ordinary mirror at all

For it reflected both outside and in

And inspected the depths of my soul

To expose to me my pride my sin

And how i've twisted my only role

For on the outside I show

Passion and desire

But on the inside I know

My pride burns higher

Every compliment fans the flame

That I started within my heart

As it burns, I am filled with shame

And from my friends I slowly depart

But He rushed in from on high

And throws His Spirit on my fire

And I fall on my knees, arms to the sky

For He has taken me from the mire

He has extinguished my pride

Given me humility instead

And I can do nothing to hide

The gift of the One who Bled.

The Lady

I wrote this a while back. It's still relevant...

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Oh my! Look! It's her
The most beautiful lady on the street
Though beauty is for the beholder
That's some eye candy for me to eat

I take a step closer
Leaving my Friend behind
As I move to her
The truth begins to unwind

But my lust becomes a blinder
Until there is no turning back
I'm in the grasp of the Adulterer
Now, an ugly old hack

My Friend looks over His shoulder
Hurt i would leave Him there
How stupid was I to err
And turn from Him who cares

So i cry out to leave
This grasp held so tight
I scream. I believe
That I can't do it with my might.

So when she's not looking
He takes my place
To Sheoul she takes Him, walking
Triumph on her face

While I keep crying
Tears on my cheek
He just keeps smiling
And I feel so weak

He cries out, "It is done"
And she cries out in pain
He gave His life, the Son,
But now we both have life to gain

Prayer

The room is down the hall

The culmination of desire

But to go in would seal my doom

To give into my brain's inquire

So outside I sit

As lives become chosen

And I wait in patience

In wholehearted devotion

I cry out to God

Be with those inside

Give them strength to do what's right

Help their will and yours coincide

I sit back and sigh

For pray is all I can do

Then a still voice speaks

To my heart with a word from You

"My grace is sufficient

I am strong in their weakness.

Be at peace, My son,

And rely on My omniscience."

And so I followed

The words in my heart

And know that prayer

Will be my part

But the Lord does provide

And time is no limit

For in reality His will

Was facilitated by His Spirit.

Beautiful Morning

The night was long
Full of dreams unfulfilled
Fears and sadness rule the night
From which my soul is heavily chilled

And when I wake
To the healing morning light
I find that a part of me
Is still haunted by the night

I long for that piece to fall away
And I try to make it die
But in my strength I cannot do it
No matter how hard I try

Instead You must come
And turn my night to day
You must heal these nightly wounds
And keep my fears at bay

So I will praise Your name
Even in my tears and sadness
For You will come to wipe away
And turn it all to gladness.

Perfection

A gong resounds
A cymbal clangs
My head is spinning
And eventually it hangs

For all around me is decaying
The proof of human glory
And I cry out in fear
At the loss of our story

I collapse to the floor
A tear falling down my cheek
As I cry kneeling there
A voice behind me speaks so meek

"Look up," He says
As He wipes away a tear
"Imperfection has passed away
And perfection is here."

And as I follow His advice
My breath leaves my chest
For what was old is now new
And He overshadows all the rest.

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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

King's Ball

My heart is pounding, racing

As I see the envelope fall

For inside contains an invitation

To the King's annual ball

I have been invited

To participate this year

And so I start my preparations

For this day of good cheer

But as the weeks progress

I find myself more and more

Working myself way too hard

And finally falling on the floor

"Slow down," they say

"Everything will work out."

But my heart is still pounding

And within me illness begins to sprout

And so on the big day

When I was to have my fun

I lay sick in my bed

With a fever of one hundred and one.

But then in came the King

Sad that I had missed His day

And He brought with him His Healer

Who took my fever away

"I have taken care of everything"

The words echoed in my head

And I knew I had been a fool

To end up sick in bed

But His presence brought me peace

And His company brought me joy

Then together we entered His Kingdom

Into His riches to enjoy

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So this takes a little explaining. I wrote this on the night before Impact application deadline and all of the craziness involved with that. For some reason, the Devil has hit me so hard today with a sense of anxiety and stress. I wrote this to remind myself of the consequences of stressing out. But then the last three stanzas flowed out onto my screen and I realized that God is in control of everything. It was very therapeutic. So read and enjoy. I am sure that I am not the only one with these feelings.

Fire Fall Down

Joel 2:29b

"In those days, I will pour out my Spirit."

The cracks on the ground cut my feet

As I shuffle through this desert so dry.

My body aches from hunger and thirst

I know that now is my time to die

I've given up when around me comes

A wind I can hear and see

I cringe as I think of the hot winds

That have tormented me endlessly

But when the wind does not stop

I allow myself to realize

That this wind is cool and wet

So I begin to open my eyes

On the horizon I see them,

The most glorious sight of my life,

Clouds, dark and grey, are forming

Bringing an end to all my strife

And as the rain begins to fall

It is not the water drops I know

Instead upon me falls tongues of fire

But to my touch they feel cold as snow

I soak in the refreshing coolness

Falling from the clouds so high

And in relief my body begins to shake

As tears flow and I begin to cry

Then as I cry, inside me rises

Something I cannot hold in

And so from within I let loose

A song through my endless grin

"Praise be to Him," I sing,

"Who pours His Spirit on the land

That I might find my strength in Him

So I may find the strength to stand."